SPIRITUAL AMNESIA

Before you could fully understand this entry, I suggest you first read my first two entries:
Physical Amnesia
Soul Amnesia

As I drown further to the sea of nothingness and sense of living a purposeless life...

I STARTED SEARCHING.

I kew back then, my friends are about to give up comforting me because of my usual lamentings.

My hobby of writing started to boom out when I wrote "Masarap(pala) mag Bus sa Umaga."

One article led to another which was appreciated by my friends and some on-line readers.

Then I enetered the blogging world where I could freely write my sentiments.

I cannot recall if I had done it purposely or it came out naturally, but most of the time my topic would be searching for God or criticizing a church which in my view doesn't seems to follow God's way. Just like the church I mention in my post, "Idolo".

The one that really fueled my curiosity towards God is when I wrote "Letter to the Church", which speaks of my desire to serve God without being in a church for the meantime.

A commentator/blogger psted, why am I addressing it to the church when the one I want to address to is God?

My mind was...ahm..shocked..it's like I know the answer but can't seem to put the words in it.

Must I blame the memory gap again because I cannot answer the question?
OR
this time...

I really forgotten God at all.

All that time I was thingking I was living a righteous path. I dont drink, smoke or any vices man could offer. I don't even go on bars or any too worldly stuffs.

All that time I though I know God and I wasn't doing anything that displeases Him and all that I do is because of love.

I took for granted my life, maybe because I grew up in aChristian world when I was young, that's why I was over confident I am living a righteous way. I am blinded with a slight mirrage of what I thin I am living.

And maybe that is why it now manifests in my life, that I am really liveng a worthless life in God's eyes.

I can attain success in my profession, be that girl who seems can do anything - - - but still lives a NONSENSE LIFE IN GOD'S VIEW.

the worthless soul is really worthless at all. No matter how I try to remember my past, no matter how I search inside myself, I could not find the answer. How could I find something that is not in me?

The commentator's question, I cannot answer. Even my brain nerves are about to bleed, I cannot think of the right words. I know that once I knew the answer... but I forgot... and most of all I forgot the greatest teacher in life, which is God.

I am so blessed that I have this new friendster friend whom I asked what is a church, because I seem to think that God, Christ, church are all in the same thing. He answered it with the answer that I expected it to be - - - a Bible based one. Not just an opinion of someone.

I really thank God for letting me know this guy. Talking to him gave me new insights about who is God. And the friendship I have with him is one of those that I truly treasure.

One Godly article led to another.
one step to getting closer to God
One Godly talk with a friend led to another
another stepping stone in getting closer to God
One question led to another topic to ponder about
and it seems it's not just a step, but a big leap in getting closer to God.

Eventually, I am on the path of walking with God, through His guidance, His word, a God-send friens and through christians who had contributed their part ot share Christ to the world.
I started to reflect, to see things in a greater view.

The life that once was worthless, now is of great worth because Christ valued me so much.

The life that once seems purposeless, now is on a higher mission to be for God and to do His will.

The life that once was very weak regained it's strength, physically, soulfully, and spiritually - - - through God and God alone.

I had forgotten God, which gave me a blank purpose in life.. a total wreck!

Only by getting back at Him, that I found a new me, a me that is now living a worthy life in God's eyes.

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness... and all these things shall be added unto you."

That verse in the Bible is my starting point.

SEEK GOD.

I honestly don't know YET in details what are those things that are to be added.. but I sure got what I am looking for right now.

A GREAT PURPOSE IN LIFE.

I simply placed faith that God is the God of good and everything that He allows to happen in my life is for my best.

I seek God, though I do not have a reliable brain.. & most of the time, I am having a hard time understanding the message of the Bible words.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Prov. 3:5-6

Since during these moments, my mind is not that so able to comprehend the ultimate life manual, the Bible, I rely on God's guidance through the Holy Spirit. And you know what, God has been blessing me to know His teachings in more ways than one. Because it's what my heart prays for.

"Whatsoever ye pray, when ye believe, ye shall receive."

If there were questions that swirls in my mind, I patiently wait for God to answer. I believe that He would let me know everything about Him, His way and know my real self why am I placed in this world.

Though I have wasted so much time in forgetting God, I am glad that God looked for me and carried me in His arms. For, as I always say, it is better to learn wosdom late, than to never learn it at all.

Spiritual Amnesia, is a very serious condition that needs super special attention. It's one thing that you would suffer for eternity if you will not find ways to cure it.

You forget God, you will forget everything. What you are living for, what's your ultimate goal in life to make it worth staying here on earth.

Everything starts with God, His will for us and not our will for ourselves.

He's the one who can miracolously transform our lives into a new one which makes the past living seems like a fictional fairy tale.

If you put God first, you will experience a renewal in all aspects - body, soul and spirit.

I thank God for His grace to us unworthy of His love.

I am living because of Him, that's why I am dedicating this life only for Him.

I am thanking God for letting me see the big picture on my life's events for the past 3 years.

• the accident
  the weak body
  the memory gaps
  the heartpains
  and rejections
  

It all happened to bring me back to Him.

I experienced it to have a better understanding about God, about Him, because everything He created was created to please Him.

He let me see how He values and misses me, more than the way that I do.

Sometimes, God takes away 'our everything' to show us that He is everything that we really nead--- our basic neccessity.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...

Whatever situation we are in, good or bad, it is because He wills it.

"... and all things work together for good for those who loves Him."

PRAISES BE TO GOD!