bRaiN faDe SPY

Sadako Conquers the LCD Screens

2006-12-12T15:19:00.000+08:00

Sadako has finally found her way to cope up in this fast changing, tekky world.
Click the image below:

Sponsored by: Kolin Philippines International
Product Feature: Olevia by Syntax
Distributed by Kolin Phil Inc.

October 24 is Holiday!!!!

2006-10-24T09:46:00.000+08:00

Kc BIRTHDAY ko!!!!!!!!
na i-share ko lng!

Getting Over????

2006-10-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

I am always bombarded with the following questions:

Friend: Hey! How's the love life?
Me: My love doesn't have life.
Friend: Really? Since when... what happened to (Ex-Bf- not-to-be-mentioned-here)
Me: Duh! He's so yesterday... about.. ahm almost a year.

after weeks of silence ....

Friend: Hey! How's the love life? How are you?
Me: It's still dead, if you are referring to singleness. But I'm perfectly happy.
Friend: So, who's the new guy?
Me: New guy? New guy who? Where did you get that crap?
Friend: Oh common! You moved on, so it's impossible that you are not courted again.
Me: Hello! I don't need a guy to move on! Double Duh!

It's like a gazzilion 'duh!', everytime a friend would ask me 'who's the new guy' or ' Are you & your 'x' back together again?"

Really now! Can't a girl totally move on without having a guy on his side?

It's such a crap belief, though GENERALLY victim of the broken relationship of the past is healed by a 'new one.'

But I can be a living proof that no new 'SPECIAL someone' is needed to 'heal the wound'.
I won't stipulate here some tips on how to get over and move on. I'm not an adviser...

Anyways, this is my view:

I don't want to get into a new relationship if my past still clothes my personality.

I mean, who wants to be with someone who still mourns over with the past. Well,I certainly don't. Past is over, you can only improve the tomorow.

I don't want to use SOMEBODY just to get over of SOMETHING. It's totally unfair to the other person.

It's okay to mourn over it, but duh... don't set your mind that you MUST be mourning over it ALWAYS...

mourning does not become a REQUIREMENT because you were hurt.

And yeah... you mourn because you lost someone totaly WORTH IT, not because it's a common thing.

You Mourn because somebody did not see YOUR WORTH, and it's kind a low-esteem feeling...like why did he left you...

YOU MOURN FOR YOURSELF AND NOT FOR HIM.

if you can't think of something wrong with youself... there's only one side left...

THERE IS SOMETHING DEFINITELY WRONG WITH THE ONE WHO HURTED YOU.

So why still long to stay with him??? or have him back???

I am happy because I am happy! About myself-about my life.

I don't want to be happy because of "Mr. Reason-why-I-am-happy-again"

It's like, when "Mr. Reason-why-I-am-happy-again" left you, you'll be that one gloomy person again.

Get over with the past and start improving yourself for your next God-given partner.

Get on with a new relationship if you are definitely ready

with yourself

and share yourself 100%

About me..I am really not sure if I am ready for a new one... becuase I'm still busy searching for Most High...

The Key is

PATIENCE.
Kahit ako din naman, naghihintay... ang tagal naman kasi nya ako mahanap... nyahahaha!
----------------
Wahahaha!!!
What am I talking about here?
Ang gulo...
kc naman si ano e..hehe
joke!
Hay....

SPIRITUAL AMNESIA

2006-09-30T13:34:00.000+08:00

Before you could fully understand this entry, I suggest you first read my first two entries:
Physical Amnesia
Soul Amnesia

As I drown further to the sea of nothingness and sense of living a purposeless life...

I STARTED SEARCHING.

I kew back then, my friends are about to give up comforting me because of my usual lamentings.

My hobby of writing started to boom out when I wrote "Masarap(pala) mag Bus sa Umaga."

One article led to another which was appreciated by my friends and some on-line readers.

Then I enetered the blogging world where I could freely write my sentiments.

I cannot recall if I had done it purposely or it came out naturally, but most of the time my topic would be searching for God or criticizing a church which in my view doesn't seems to follow God's way. Just like the church I mention in my post, "Idolo".

The one that really fueled my curiosity towards God is when I wrote "Letter to the Church", which speaks of my desire to serve God without being in a church for the meantime.

A commentator/blogger psted, why am I addressing it to the church when the one I want to address to is God?

My mind was...ahm..shocked..it's like I know the answer but can't seem to put the words in it.

Must I blame the memory gap again because I cannot answer the question?
OR
this time...

I really forgotten God at all.

All that time I was thingking I was living a righteous path. I dont drink, smoke or any vices man could offer. I don't even go on bars or any too worldly stuffs.

All that time I though I know God and I wasn't doing anything that displeases Him and all that I do is because of love.

I took for granted my life, maybe because I grew up in aChristian world when I was young, that's why I was over confident I am living a righteous way. I am blinded with a slight mirrage of what I thin I am living.

And maybe that is why it now manifests in my life, that I am really liveng a worthless life in God's eyes.

I can attain success in my profession, be that girl who seems can do anything - - - but still lives a NONSENSE LIFE IN GOD'S VIEW.

the worthless soul is really worthless at all. No matter how I try to remember my past, no matter how I search inside myself, I could not find the answer. How could I find something that is not in me?

The commentator's question, I cannot answer. Even my brain nerves are about to bleed, I cannot think of the right words. I know that once I knew the answer... but I forgot... and most of all I forgot the greatest teacher in life, which is God.

I am so blessed that I have this new friendster friend whom I asked what is a church, because I seem to think that God, Christ, church are all in the same thing. He answered it with the answer that I expected it to be - - - a Bible based one. Not just an opinion of someone.

I really thank God for letting me know this guy. Talking to him gave me new insights about who is God. And the friendship I have with him is one of those that I truly treasure.

One Godly article led to another.
one step to getting closer to God
One Godly talk with a friend led to another
another stepping stone in getting closer to God
One question led to another topic to ponder about
and it seems it's not just a step, but a big leap in getting closer to God.

Eventually, I am on the path of walking with God, through His guidance, His word, a God-send friens and through christians who had contributed their part ot share Christ to the world.
I started to reflect, to see things in a greater view.

The life that once was worthless, now is of great worth because Christ valued me so much.

The life that once seems purposeless, now is on a higher mission to be for God and to do His will.

The life that once was very weak regained it's strength, physically, soulfully, and spiritually - - - through God and God alone.

I had forgotten God, which gave me a blank purpose in life.. a total wreck!

Only by getting back at Him, that I found a new me, a me that is now living a worthy life in God's eyes.

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness... and all these things shall be added unto you."

That verse in the Bible is my starting point.

SEEK GOD.

I honestly don't know YET in details what are those things that are to be added.. but I sure got what I am looking for right now.

A GREAT PURPOSE IN LIFE.

I simply placed faith that God is the God of good and everything that He allows to happen in my life is for my best.

I seek God, though I do not have a reliable brain.. & most of the time, I am having a hard time understanding the message of the Bible words.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Prov. 3:5-6

Since during these moments, my mind is not that so able to comprehend the ultimate life manual, the Bible, I rely on God's guidance through the Holy Spirit. And you know what, God has been blessing me to know His teachings in more ways than one. Because it's what my heart prays for.

"Whatsoever ye pray, when ye believe, ye shall receive."

If there were questions that swirls in my mind, I patiently wait for God to answer. I believe that He would let me know everything about Him, His way and know my real self why am I placed in this world.

Though I have wasted so much time in forgetting God, I am glad that God looked for me and carried me in His arms. For, as I always say, it is better to learn wosdom late, than to never learn it at all.

Spiritual Amnesia, is a very serious condition that needs super special attention. It's one thing that you would suffer for eternity if you will not find ways to cure it.

You forget God, you will forget everything. What you are living for, what's your ultimate goal in life to make it worth staying here on earth.

Everything starts with God, His will for us and not our will for ourselves.

He's the one who can miracolously transform our lives into a new one which makes the past living seems like a fictional fairy tale.

If you put God first, you will experience a renewal in all aspects - body, soul and spirit.

I thank God for His grace to us unworthy of His love.

I am living because of Him, that's why I am dedicating this life only for Him.

I am thanking God for letting me see the big picture on my life's events for the past 3 years.

the accident
the weak body
the memory gaps
the heartpains
and rejections

It all happened to bring me back to Him.

I experienced it to have a better understanding about God, about Him, because everything He created was created to please Him.

He let me see how He values and misses me, more than the way that I do.

Sometimes, God takes away 'our everything' to show us that He is everything that we really nead--- our basic neccessity.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...

Whatever situation we are in, good or bad, it is because He wills it.

"... and all things work together for good for those who loves Him."

PRAISES BE TO GOD!

SOUL AMNESIA

2006-09-30T13:29:00.000+08:00

After those events, which I told in my entry,Physical Amnesia , life got to a different level. It's like I need to grow but there's no space to grow to. I needed water and nutrients but I can't seem find my roots... my being.

I have finished college half heartedly and onto the next thing which is finding a job. I got the nicest job compared to my batchmates. I am able to use my college skills and earned a fair sum of money. With my mon's help, I was able to fund my tuition fee for a review school for Interior Design while working.

Due to weak health and pressure, I have to give up one, working or studying. I chose to continue my studying because I have invested much on it. Only to disappoint myself in the end because I am not qualified to take the board exam due to name problem.
I thought I was routing a good career path, but stumbling blocks didn't only burdened my way but totally stoped me as well.

All things got even worse, when I got a not-so-good job and a break-up with a long time relationship which triggered back my weak condition and deep depression.

Everything seems wrong and I don't know what's been making my life wrong.

I often times blamed the past accident which had given me a weak mind and weak memory retention. And when headaches strike in, I am one of those hot tempered person who would burst out even on the smallest things. Not only those head aches that kept my temper boiling but the fact that my brain hasn't been itself for a year, and I was starting to loose my self worth.
When I had my first job, I was always confused, always forgot what was told and always messed up. It feels like I don't know what I was doing and why I was there.

Everything seems meaningless.

I work. I earn. I spend.
I work. I earn. I spend.

I took the review course just so to give me a big jumpstart to the designing world. But halfway along those classes, I got disheartened because I am not able to retain in memory the lessons and I knew I am bound not to take the exam. I was also aware, if ever I take the exam and got a licensed,

WHAT's NEXT? I'll be back at square one, which still questions my worth of living.

Another dead end and detour in my life. I thought I could find my direction in life when I made those decisions.

One decision to another which lead me to a deeper nothingness in life.

I knew not my self. I even can't remember why I was studying so hard during those school days. I knew I had a reason, but what that reason is I cannot recall.

I am confused with myself which eventually affected the people around me.

I don't know what I want; I do not know what could make me happy.

Maybe I could not put all the blame to my old boyfriend why we eventually parted ways. In my part, I don't know why back then I always ask something from him that would show his love for me, which, wasn't me at all. The feeling of worthlessness clothes me. In his part, he was afraid of my weak condition and was confused as well what has been happening to me. If my X wuould have been a strong man & kept his love strong me, maybe he could have helped regain the old me before the accident. But how unmanly of him who left me alone in my confused world & moved on in his pursuit for his own happiness.

There I was left alone all by myself. A friend was there to help me but, she almost gave up because I can't seem to move on with a life.

I was some purposeless being who doesn't even know to dream or what is my dream in life.

I got my first job back, and I filled myself with too much work. I even got sidelines just to fill those blank days which I called "Black Saturdays and Sundays".

Same thing.
I work. I earn. I spend.
and this time, I cry.

Depression of being left and rejected is a painful thing to overcome. And my pride just wouldn't let me to tell it to my family that I've been suffering deeply. Melancholy covered my very soul that I often think that I wish my life would stop at that moment.

My life seems to have no meaning. My travel seems took no path,

I feel like I am floating, a purposeless being that's just an addition to the crowded world.

I feel so empty. No matter what I do; whatever I learn new; It seems so pointless and could not give joy to myself.

I have forgotten myself; the things I want, the things that would make me happy.

A worse scenario compared to physical amnesia and memory gaps which hopefully medicine could cure.

Forgetting who you are because somebody hurted you.

Forgetting who you are for the happiness of others...

FORGETTING WHO YOU ARE .. is one thing that is definitely hard to cure and costly to loose...

Physical Amnesia

2006-09-30T13:24:00.000+08:00

When I was in fourth year college, a month before my thesis submission, I suffered a road accident. I was hit by a bicycle while crossing the street. I had a friend that time which told me the story.

I got hit by a raging bike who we didn't notice coming. I was thrown away by the collission, I hit the ground which got me unconcious in that instant.
A nearby tricycle driver helped us, and brought me to St. Vincent's, the nearest hospital. In the driver's hurry, my friend got left behind which made my friend running after a fast moving tricycle. Thank God, another good citizen, a taxi driver gave my friend a free ride and followed the tricycle.
The next thing, my friend had been worried trying to contact my family. My cell phone is broken so the only mean of reaching my family is to go to our house.
It's just the twist of events, that we recently moved place, and my friend doesn't know where I am living right now.
My friend went to our old house, along with the nice tricycle man, and asked our neibhours where could my new house be found. My neighbours led my friend to a relative's house. My relative wasn't home when they got there, but someone knew where's our new place is, so that someone brought my friend there. When they got there, nobody's home, so my friend had to wait. When my family arrived, they immediately texted my mom, which was out of signal. What a twist! I am glad my friend is really a friend.

Meanwhile....
What's happening to me while my friend is searching for my family?

I could recall that I have awaken three times, with short lapses of being unconcious..hmm... I'm not sure... it all happened in one afternoon.

First Wake
I saw a man in white, most probably just the nurse, he keeps on saying, "Youre okay." I honestly can't understand him, "Okay." In my mind what's "okay"? I mean what is the word 'okay'?
I looked around and I understand nothing. It's blank. Like I don't know that the wall clock is a clock, a wall is a wall. I don't know what I am, who I am. NOTHING.
Except there's that something that is perceived by my ears that kept on saying "You're okay." Whatever that means.
Everything seems to move and swirl, and it got dark again.

Second Wake
The second time I woke up, I was aware that I am in some sort of a room, lying in bed and there's a clock that hangs by the wall. The place looks familiar.
And then, again, a man in white came in and asked me how do I feel. This time, I can understand what he is saying. He said I am okay. I was still confused back then. What am I doing here? Where am I? What happenned? What? What? What?
Aside from the swirling world around me, I can now feel the pain in my head.

Third Wake
As my eyes opened, I saw a familiar figure by the footboard of the bed. It's my mother, with some of my relatives.
They were talking about something which I couldn't understand. Maybe in my situation that time, they were using 'complicated' terms which my brain could not comprehend.
This time, I knew an accident happened, although I was not sure what was it. I knew I was in an emergency room, because I brought people in the same emergency room twice, one was in labor while the other one was because of appendicitis.

These are the three moments one afternoon in an emergency room, I am not sure if I have told this story, but I think I did.

I saw my friend and my family, standing next to me. Still unaware what had really happened, I can feel the pain this time.

When the ambulance form St. Luke's hospital came, I said I need to go to the comfort room. They assisted me, but when I got to the CR, my world started to whirl again, and I started to vomit again until I can't threw up anything anymore. I saw the wash basin filled with my yucky vomits & water. They said I have been vomitting unconciously. That's why my mom decided to bring to St. Lukes because the people of St. Vincent's never took care of me as soon as possible, they just left me at the Emergency Room 'till someone came for me.

Then they brought me to the ambulance along with this cute ambulance guy. (haha! I've been in this situatuion, and I never thought I would think that way. Na aksidente nga ako, because I am not like that at all).

What does it feels like to be a patient inside an ambulance? I could here the ambulance's siren, the honks & the beeps of the outside cars. I can feel the motion of the wheel, & the rocking of my bed which left me in the world of forever swirling and praing that it would stop.

At St. Lukes, my first stop was in the Emergency Room. I was awake that moment and could hear the other patients suffering from pains and calling out for doctors. I felt I am a part of some war movie where hurt soldiers are brought to.

My friend was beside me, while my mom took care of my papers in the hospital. My friend told me that the ambulance guy is so cute, which left us both smiling, why in the world we were thinking that way at that moment. I guess, the guy was really cure in that attire. And I think, God is just cheering us both because of that traumatic experience. Nice move God!

Then a doctor broke our silent admiration and checked my physical status from one reflex to another. Asking me questions like what do I feel or what could I remember on what happened on me. Of course, I could give no answer for I am at blank myself.

Then I was brought to laboratories for further examinations. EEG, X-Rayes and in that big CT Scan Machine. Haha! Am I in that weird situation again, when I remembered Jet Li's movie "The One", where he was examined in a CT Scan and was attacked by another Jet Li and his gun was magnetized by the CT Scan machine. While I am having that scan, I wanted to open my eyes so I could see how the machine works, but I was afraid that I would go blind.
Then I was sent back to my room.

It was the holiday seasons. The five days of vacation after my design exhibit was wasted inside the hospital.
A few friends visited me, while the other 'friends' doesn't even know I was hospotalized and never bothered to say hi. I got released on December 25, 2004.

My hospital bill for five days was P30,000.00!!! Oh no! I am thankful to God my mom had a boss who helped us to loan money.

The 'comforts' of the hospital I could no longer bear, so I was very glad I am going home.

First Week of Survival
During the first week after I got hospitalized, I always have headaches and nauseas. It feels like I'm gonna be stuck with those pains forever. it's a part of my everyday 'living'. What a life!

There were times that I have to shout to call my mother's attention when vertigo strikes in. My nerves were easily shaken by the slightest movement & slightest sound, and the head pain was hard to bare. There were also times, that I couldn't stand on my own and couldn't walk on my own. Sometimes, I would suddenly fall from where I was sitting. Imbalance.

Also, during that time, I was also worried about my thesis, that while resting, I started to re read my months of research only to find out that I have forgotten details of my work are not clear in my mind, thus resultiong to more nauseas because of pressure, so I stopped reading my thesis. It's like I can't understand technical terms, and even the sinmplest sentences at times.

That's when I started to read "The Little Prince", which is the first I get to finish to read, and "Jonathan Livingstone Seagull." These books gave me a handful thoughts of wisdom and opened me to the world of reading books.

Little by little, headaches soothens, nauseas lessens.-- but not totally gone. All I ever eat during that time was Ice Cream, which added more calories to this 'jello' body. hehe...

I've been resting for 3 weeks; 2 weeks from that holiday vacation, and I was a week out of school. Worried, that I won't finish school at the right time, I came back to school.

First Week At School
It was a hard week. Some people I can't remember, some I only knew by face.
There was one time, I was standing in front of my professor and I ignored her which offended her. I knew her not until my classmate told me that she's our professor. I apologized to her as soon as I had the chance. My prof told me she was wondering why was such a snob, I just honestly told her I just can't remember who she was back then.

There were also a time that I suddenly forgot who my boyfriend is. A man was calling me, I was wondering why he was calling, only to realize later that he's my boyfriend.

One memory gap led to another, it's like I'm one absent-minded machine who easily forgets and always lost.

Eventually, my thesis suffered, it's like I went to a battle unprepared. I thank God I finished schooling that time, although I knew I was not able to give the best I knew I could give. The best that time was just the best from an amnesiac girl, who finished school for no reason and no goal in life.

A blurry past have a pointless future.

I got a job. Which I quitted after four months to give way to my study.

I studied in a review school. But I was not able to take the board exam in the end.

I got a new job. But maybe because of too much boredom and too much eye strain, the head aches and nauseas came back...PLUS!!!

Now things got even worse, I am having headaches and heartpains by being left by someone whom I thought I could depend on.

The Body Pains, medicine could relieve. I was set on another round of radiation exams, and I thank God for giving us the peace of mind that nothing's wrong to me except for sever migraine attackes & cervicogenic headaches which cannot be cured, but can be relieved by medicine.

Now the pains of my soul is another case at all!!!

Munting Sunog sa Glorietta

2006-09-07T10:23:00.000+08:00

Kahapon, September 6, 2006, nagmamadali ang buong Marketing Department pumunta sa Glorietta Activity Center pagkatapos mkatanggap ng balita sa Boss ko na sa kasalukuyang namamasayal sa Ilo-ilo.

Tumawag ang may-ari ng Anson's at sinabing may sunog na nagaganap duon ngayon.

(syempre, dko po kamay yan, ang panget e..hehehe)

Kaya kailangan namin pumaroon at i-check ang mga mamahalin naming displays at baka madisgrasya eh sayang tlga yun. Kung sakaling maliit man ang apoy, e pag na activate ang sprinklers, basa ang units namin, masisira yun.

Nagmadali kaming pumunta pero, sa kasamaang palad eh hindi ko inabuitan ang excitement kundi mga residue lamang ng nasabing sunog, gaya nang usok ng fire extinguishers at walang katapusang announcement ng Glorietta na controlled na ang nasabing sunog.

Kala ko mkaka-nenok na ako nang cool cell phone or hi-tech na digi-cam kung sakaling magkagulo at mag panic ang mga tao... joke joke joke!!!

Kaya ang mga sumusunod na larawan lamang ang aking nakuhaan.

At sa pag aakalang tapos na ang lahat, e nag false alarm uli... pero controlled pa rin.

Sa Glorietta 2 po ang sunog, sa isang kainan...

Pero, later back to normal din ang lahat. Masyado lang kasi nag panic ang mga boss, hndi muna pinakiramdaman... hehe..but in fairness, concern ang boss kong namamasyal sa Ilo-ilo sa mga tauhan namin sa exhibit..hehe...

buti nga pinayagan ako pumunta dun khit may sunog..di kc ako mapapakali sa excitement..yun pala.. small fire lng..hehe

Kaya ayan, nagliliwanag nanaman ang simpleng display rack ko.

Bili na kayo! hehe, sa Glorietta Activity Center, hanggang September 17, lang po ito! Heheh!

Sa Third Party na kinasasangkutan ng Friend ko

2006-09-06T17:13:00.000+08:00

1.) Above 18 kna to know wat's right & wat's wrong. Kpag nkasanayan mo yan, cge ka, bka pg tagal, korte ang bagsak mo. Kaya wag matigas ang ulo.

2.) 20+ kna, u can control ur emotion. Emotions are driving forces. But NOT SOLID BASIS in making a decision.

Remember: The mind's position is higher than the heart...

3.) Kaya yun mga nagpapadala sa emotions...wat resulta? hehehe

na feeling nila na "magical something" na parang tv novels na Endless Love na puro kutob lng ang nlalaman...hndi na nag iisip..hehe..ayun marami nang nsasaktan..

4.) Siyempre, dapat yun 'pinili' mo eh sa ISANG TAO lang naka focus..
para buong buo ang loving loving..haha...hindi dalawa sla, hndi dalawa kayu..

5) Eh ang tanong, willing ba sya mag focus sa iyo? .. hmm???!!!...labo...

Anu?! Mahal ka niya? tapos mahal nya sya?!
Lokohan yan (obvious ba?)

6) In the first place, mali ang umpisa, mali ang present, kaya mali din ang future..hehehe..baka lumalala pa. Prevention is better than cure.

Dinadala kna na nga sa mali, go ka pa rin jan

7) As a matter of first principles,

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
and to follow na yung iba...na magmamahal sayo..

anjan nman kc c... tsk..tapos si anu pa pnili mu...
bruha ka... (nababakla salita ko sau) hehe

8) AND, mas ok na wala na lng pakner, kesa nman mali ang pakner..hehe..

waste of time, life is short.

Bili kna lang doggy, un ang buhusan mo ng atensyon, tpos pag nanganak un doggy, tx mko..eh di natuwa pko sayo... heheh...

gusto kong breed pomeranian or st. bernard. o kaya tigre na lng, mas gusto ko un.. pede mo pa ipalapa un mga ruku rukung guys jan..hahaha!!!

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Anu ba? Sept. 6 ngaun e... dapat ako ina alo nyo..
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Para sa tinamaan: Buti nga sayo! hehe

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Gaya nga ng Nabasa ko:

DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR HEART ALONE NOR YOUR HEAD ALONE.
WAIT UNTIL YOUR HEART AND HEAD AGREE.

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Patience is a Virtue.
Wait ka kasi for the right guy, excited ka kc msyado e.hehehe

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BOTTOMLINE

Ang mali ay mali

and

at the end of the day,

ikaw ang kawawa, nkasakit kpa..

Tska nu, sayang ka nu..SEE YOUR WORTH.

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hndi po si SPY to, nkikipost lng..hehehe

Can I Be Your Friend? Getting Tekky

2006-08-10T18:22:00.000+08:00

It's funny lately, that I communicate with my friends thru on-line communications such as Messengers, E-Mails, & Friendster.

Like Jonhess, he was an old friend during high school days. He once bumped into my life when I tried to join a music band and tried to learn how to play saxophone. I have never seen him for about 6 or 7 years. I am glad he was looking for me..hehehe. I didn't knew that I had an impact in his life. I don't remember much of my past, but somehow I remember him... NOT!
hehehe..I hope he isn't reading this... kidding Jonhess...
I approved his "MUSHY" testimonial because he's an OLD friend. hehe..take note: OLD!!! joking again!!!

Thanks to him I remebered stuffs about me when I was young.

Another guy...

I also had a lot of "spiritual" talk with an old churhmate too. I won't mention his name here, because we are having those 'confidential' talks...hahaha...I'm just making it exaggerated... heheh

He's the one that I could say that I can really talk about anything-- from the deepest purpose in life to the shallowest thing as Denver the Last Dinosaur.

I really don't know him personally, but by the way he speaks up, I think he's one reliable person, and like I've known him for a long time... well, yes I knew him, but...ahm...whatever..heheh..maybe we just have the same interests...

BTW, he has taught me a lot... and someday...somehow.. i'll find a way to repay him... He's an answered prayer.

To God be the thanks...

So as I have said earlier,

I communicate with my friends thru the net, because of the busy work sked and me being busy with my family and myself (?)

Friendster, Messenger, Internet...

have influenced many of today's social life. I don't know if I should approve with such sitiation, because it's like I'm getting used to talking with the monitor and speaking with my keyboard.

For now, this is my lifestyle, my social life, if you call that getting socialized...

Isn't technology taking hold so much of our time??? and our life?

Will you call me weird if I imagine, someday, those big companies are holding our necks if we want to 'survive extinction' from this world?

And the people that we talk to thru mesengers,

ARE THEY WHO THEY SEEM THEY ARE?

LOVE: Is it just plain decision?

2006-08-02T14:53:00.000+08:00

hmmm... emotions are really bugging my life right now...

ANGER & LOVE

two opposing forces but can never be separated in this such imperfect world...

well, so far... hmm!

Is this what you call LOVE YOUR ENEMY?

How can you love your enemy if the emotion you are feeling is anger?

IS it a decision one must take in relation to the other person?

I guess, like what I am doing right now...

a past relationship who had hurt me so much...

despite the fact that I MUST FEEL ANGER.. it always turns out, me, being nice... not because I am stupid or I feel still 'in-love' it is because I CHOSE TO BE NICE...

....hmm...
maybe emotions are just driving forces, because, still, our mind has the final statement. How can you fully love if your mind is unease about the situation?
Do you think so?

Life is full of decisions, but in my own point of view... there are only two choices.

THE RIGHT WAY and THE WRONG WAY

Either way, it's still your own responsibility at the end of the day. Nobody to blame or be acknowledged but yourself.

RIGHT IS RIGHT even if everybody is againts it
WRONG is WRONG even everybody goes for it.

Truth is forever, I say..
Truth is constant...
Truth never change.
Even in Science, the constant is always the same...
(sounds like a prose: I think I have a future in being a writer..he,he)

"Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance"
(1Corinthians 13:4-7)

In my words, LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, NOT STUPID.

So... if it is not suppose to make you stupid.. you must use your mind?

Emotional love is blinding, I guess... those 'in-love' moments.. but if the FEELING is gone... how do you live life together?

so Love must be based on TRUST & RESPECT.
....

hmm...

....

Trust that he will be loyal and faithful...

Respect in each other's thoughts, opinions, life... although when you are married you are considered to be one.
....
....
All the things that I am saying here, and on my other posts are based on my experiences and belief.
...
I am not saying, all these are true...
...
I am just stating ang opinion,when I am confused and have a question...
...
sigh...
...
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SPY Chronicles

2006-07-26T14:02:00.000+08:00

It was a dark & stormy night
And the city’s quiet asleep
Behind the walls
Of a gargantuan chateau
A spy is on a mission
A life is in dispute

But amongst the tress
Hidden by the angry wind
Eyes are watching
Eyes are in awe
What it is that lingers
Is there anything that must be shown?

The dark suited spy
Climbed with all her might
As the rain patters
Will the spy falter?
By the cold sting of water
That darts the avenger

Inside she crept
All sounds must be kept
As she slithers on the floor
And to the creeping door
Will she be discovered?
Or remain covered?

On and on she goes
Unaware of a potential foe
That’s been lurking behind
Oh the spy had been blind
She thought nobody’s there
As she puts tracking bugs everywhere

The eyes that are watching
Thought the Spy is an enemy
Shouted with intensity
“A thief! A thief!”
Awakening the chateau
Furtiveness bid its adieu

……to be continued…..
……to be edited……
hehehe

The Sacred Agents

2006-07-24T17:22:00.000+08:00

SACRED AGENTS

Christ In Action

is a non-profit organization,

Internet based ministry

with three main goals:

1. Bring glory and honor to God,

2. Equip Christians in the truth,

3. Lead non-Christians to Christ.

Cool huh?

These people are active church members who wants to propagate the Truth thru the use of the world wide web.

They are revealing much of the world's history according to the Bible...

Promoting worthy sites!

I pray the best for the group, and hopefully many will be awakened and be curious enough to 'explore the Truth.'

Grrr....

2006-07-23T20:03:00.000+08:00

Last night, I went to my old friend's place because it's her birthday. I ate chocolate cake, spaghetti and siomai - - the best!

Then I went to post an entry on my secret friendster's blog about a poem that I worte when I was in third year high school. This is the poem:

The Woman That I Love

Roses are red and so are her lips
On her bed she always sits
Sometimes she's silly. Sometimes she's not
I don't care for she's the one I love
Lovely face I wish I could have
You'll never believe she's 37 now
Nothing changed, her face sweet as 16

Resourceful person she is
Especially during the times in need
Talented woman whom I adore
Overjoy is what I feel when she hugs me
Many times she's away from work
Even during holidays & days w/o work

More blessings I wish her to have
And only happiness fills her heart
No one knows how much I love her
So I wish I can show her
A wish that I can tell
You're the one I really love, my dear mother

I wrote this poem many years ago for my Mom's 37'th birhthday...
I wonder if she remember I wrote her a poem at least once in my life?
Hm...I miss my mom..my adoration to her.
We now have a different life living...although we live in the same house. I've been busy with my work and have a life to think about.
Well actually, what I think about really is how can I be a help to her...
(originally posted yesterday)

That's my post, yep, after the mushy posting I went home at around 11pm. Only to find out (AGAIN) that I left my house keys... so I texted my mom and said that I am stuck outside and forgot my house keys (AGAIN).

She threw her keys out to me, and when I got upstairs, she shoutingly said,

"Bakit wala ka nanamang susi!?"

And I said, "nakalimutan ko.."

And she said... "Iresponsable!"

That just stung my heart...

Me? Irresponsible? I seldom ask for their help. I do my own laundries, I cook my food, I clean my room.. I give her part of my salary...there's nothing that I don't do. Of course, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't drink. I work hard to help her.

But she, calling me that... it hurts...

I could actually can live on my own, w/o her help, but I just won't because I still want to help at home... but nobody appreciates it...

To think, that I just reminisced the days when I admire her hard work for us her kids.

I am not backstubbing my mother... I just want to let it out now...

Can I help it if my brain has a malfunctioning memory card???

Anyway.... what if I won't help anyone in the house... grr... it's so grrr!

A Dream is a wish your heart makes

2006-07-23T19:41:00.000+08:00

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believingthe dream that you wish will come true

... when will it come true?

Wanna know my weirdest dreams...well..I'll state whatever comes into my mind right now...

I want to fly, I want to be up there in the sky
I want to have a car, pearlized pink car
A pocket PC
I want to try bungee jumping
A martial artist
A karate Kid
A great painter
A computer hacker
A carpenter
A Sculptor
An Archaeologist
I wish I'd go back in the time of Creation, time of Jesus, my time of birth, the first time I walked and talked
I wish I'd be a part of tribulation
I wish God would talk to me personally just like Adam and Eve.
I wish He would make things a bit clearer
..uhm...I'll take back that wish
I wish that life will be more challenging and exciting
I wish I'll have a unique love story
I wish I have met the one, but not really knowing who he is
I wish I have a kid of my own right now
I wish I have enough money to help my mom
...hmm.... this is not a weird fantasy...
I wish my wedding ceremony would take place under the sea or up there in the sky
I wish, when I die, my mom would get to read my entries
I wish my casket would be in an F1 four-wheeled,race car
I wish I constructed my own casket and painted by my own hands
I wish someone would see me as human...

6002.12.70

Depression Makes me Fat

2006-07-23T19:37:00.000+08:00

Hm...

I could say there has been a little improvement lately at work and in myself. Yesterday, after my boss said 'not nice' work about the rack that I personally refurbished, he (I think) noticed that I felt uneasy on him.

That afternoon, he asked me if I already have decided to move a house near our office. Well, I told him my family won't, so I think I better move myself. Then he reminded me because I received a memo of being late, which is 65 minutes late for a week. I told him it's unusual for me to be late. He said, whatever, still, you are late... then he was teasing me... and then turned into bits of laughter... at least somehow, mt heart lightened.

Today, the carpenter called me and wanted me to go and check the construction of my design. I've been meaning not to call him up, or anything just to somehow tell him that it wasn't right for him to raise his voice on me even he's much older than I am. I know we are all pressured at work because lot's of incoming projects were in and time is a valuable thing for each & everyone of us. But sometimes, they abuse my being 'friendly'. I'm much superior in terms of office position.

For the meantime, I just let them feel they are superior than me. I am somehow tired of fighting for my position in the office.

Anyway.... enough with these office problemos!

It's just I'm on my 5th month as a probationary employee, my regularization might fly away from me, and I can't afford to lose a job right now... ....

Can I say I have a little improvement about my depression? Hm? I wish I could totally say that...

I'm quite depress right now... in fact, I've been eating the whole day and planning to eat again after this.

And I'm not just eating somewhere, I'm eating at expensive food shops.... grrr...

....well, so far I regret eating at Greenwhich, their so-called Supreme Baked Macaroni doesn't taste like supreme at all... what a waste of money and craving! i never get to eat the whole thing at all...

Aggy's Special Mamon is yummy, milky yummy...

NERDS! The Wonka Nerds--- the best candy ever! I bought one at a grocery near us for P18.00 only, but I tried to buy at SM only to see that it worth P45.oo there! No way... I rather buy near our place.

Tobleron - - - ate it w/ my office mates Another chocolate bar w/ Vanilla Cream filling

Potato Chips & lots of Potato Chips!

For lunch, I ate at Henlin's, 3 pcs. Siomai, Rice and 12 oz. Dalandan juice...

Early in breakfast, I ate fried eggplant, rice and last night's left over Paksiw na Bangus...
See I've been eating too much... ..

now I'm craving for BreadTalk!'s Pizza Bread...

Sigh...

....hmmm.... just another sigh....

The Bible & the Key

2006-07-23T19:27:00.000+08:00

Remember my 19th post Home Alone 'Imprisonment'?

I'll continue my story on that day.

After posting my it, I walked towards Chowking, I thought, if I am going to buy a meal there that would cost me almost a hundred pesos. So i bought a kilo of chicken instead...did some groceries, and dashed back at home as fast as I could so I could cook right away.

While cooking, I found a pirated cd of Superman Returns so I decided to watch it.

Honestly, I found the movie boring and lacked twist in the story. I never enjoyed it and foundmyself sleepy at times.
but I remembered what Lex Luther said:

"gods are selfish beings who fly around with capes and don't share power with mankind."

hmm... he sounded like the serpent in the garden of Eden while tempting Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.

Anyway, I still finished the movie... and was glad it ended there.

Well, I admit, I had some pity on superman when he was on the hospital, showing that he's human too.

After watching it, I ate almost half of the chicken! Boy! Was I that hungry?!

I went back to my room, it's just a step away from the living room. (he,he)

And saw the slim Bible. It's my mom's Bible given by Pastor Edwin Tan.

My key is beside the Bible...

I realized, I've been drowning myself with lots of books, fictional, historical etc... but the Bible has been always there, but I never bothered to read it up for years.

So I started to read Genesis chapter one.

... I was surprised... everything seems new to my mind. It's like I'm reading from a newly bought, but popular book.

I enjoyed reading the Creation...to Cain & Abel, Noah, the Tower of Babel...

It's REFRESHING.

I never thought that reading the Bible could be entertaining... well, don't get me wrong. I highly respect "the Book", cuz once, when our house was flooded, it's one of the first stuffs that I saved.
The Bible... the Key...

It made me realize, that the key to my happiness will be found in His Word!

Such a simple rule but neglected often.

Don't you think?

You just need to read it whole heartedly...

have Faith, never guard it down...

Right now, I am enjoying reading the stories in the Bible. Though I do not understand some of it, but I know someday God will make me understand it!

One step at a time....

I highly recommend "the Book" the HOLY BIBLE (King James Version 1611)

7002.91.70

Help Keep Elections Clean

2006-07-22T18:27:00.000+08:00

Help Keep Elections Clean... this is Comelec-Ako's Vision.

Wow... I admire his determination to help our nation thru his knowledge about the world of Comission on Elections.

That's why I am promoting him here, although I never bother myself with politics.

And also... join his...

Support the good!

I wonder how old comelec is... hehe...

I remember, when I use to hang around the 'comelec world' (because my mom use to work there)... I use to see lots of old people... hehe...

Hi Comelec! Just incase you dropped by!!!

6002.22.70/92:60

Home Alone 'Imprisonment'?

2006-07-21T20:06:00.000+08:00

I was glad early this morning that the people at home will all be leaving. I have the whole house for myself!!! Yipee! I am gonna have a restful rest, perhaps watch movies and eat junkies.
...but first I have to do my usual chores...

My mom, brother & sister left at around 10am, they will be having a family get together today at my grandpa's house. I was thinking of going there too after my chores (bcuz nobody will wash my clothes if I go there, and I will have nothing to wear for work).

Finally, the house is quiet and still.

I started out my daily routine and started to clean up my room and do the laundry. Since I'm gonna be alone and quite busy, I decided to secure the door and gate with a lock.

I finished my chores at around 2pm, and then I felt hunger.

I looked for food to eat, but nothing is to be found. They are going to a get together so nobody bothered to buy food for the day, and of course they expected that I would come along but I didn't.

So there I was, hungry. I decided to take out food from saome fast food chain, perhaps Chowking or McDo since I have discount coupons for McDo.

I took a bath and prepared myself and my money. I also decided to pick out neccesities from the grocery.

As I am about to leave, I remembered that I locked the door.

THE KEY??!?!

I forgot where I placed my house keys!!! Oh no!
I searched over my stuffs, pants and storages, but I couldn't find it.
It was an hour of search, totally devastated because of hunger.
I was really hungry!!!
I looked again and again, but with no success.

My stomach is already rambling w/ pain because of hunger. There is nothing to eat at home except rice...

Poor me...

Tired and hungry...

I know I placed the key somewhere so it won't get misplaced. But I can't remember where I placed it.

This always happen

Like, one time, I placed my favorite silver earrings (w/ moon and star design) for safekeeping. But until this day I cannot recall where I placed it.

Minutes and hours passed...maybe because of too much starvation... I suddenly remembered that I placed the keys beside the Bible that i was reading last night!

SAVED!

I hurriedly opened the door and dashed off to the nearest bakery and devouringly ate a bread w/c I don't usually do.

And now I'm here at the PC to relate a story.

I'll go to Mc Donald's later and eat a complete meal...

6002.61.70

Bread Talk!

2006-07-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am talking about the literal edible thing BREAD.

Let's talk about BREAD.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Sure! Man needs water too.

Today was a busy day. I went to Pureza where I use to study. The place hadn't changed a bit since the last time I went there. The people---they changed drastically. As if, I don't know them anymore. like I'm some outcast... he,he... this is mushy...

Anyway, my friend (codename:ADS), asked me to accompany her in buying a good printer. So we canvassed at every PC shop at Gilmore. And I was amazed by the latest models of laptop PCs. Oh! Sometimes I just wish I'm a rich kid who could buy anything I want in a snap of a finger.

ADS and I just kept bothering salesmen about the printers' specifications and quality. Until we found the printer we want and needed!

Yes! The day's mission is successful and it's time for a nice meal, since we haven't got a bite after going to Pureza.

We decided to eat at Gateway and indulge ourselves with the finest breads in BreadTalk!
But we couldn't find a seat at BreadTalk! so we decided to take out the breads and eat at Farmer's foodcourt. But the Farmer's foodcourt is 'heavily noised' by the night's band and blabbing people around.

We went to the nearest Mc Donald's, ordered Sarsi Float and Mc Do's Hot Choco and hoped to have a good eat... but..

a woman, sitted in on our table. She ordered Mc Do's latest nuggets. And as I await for ADS (ordering our beverages), she's somewhat friendly.

ADS came back, and we started to devouringly eat our yummy and expensive bread. She ate the BreadTalk! Pizza Bread, while I ate something chocolatey (can't remember the name). We offered the woman in front of us some bread, but of course, she resisted.

I cannot recall how our conversation with the woman, named Shirley, started. But we talked about finishing school, because ADS is an undergraduate artist. We discussed the importance of finishing school and its benefits. While ADS insisted onfinishing school is not really an important matter....

Oh...hmm.. I think I'll stop now... I've been having cough and not feeling well. Oh no! I don't want to be sick! I have lot's of upcoming projects, and me, being not in the office will be one big problem.

Just the point of this entry...

Breads are delicious.

I tasted five types of bread today..
Shawarma Bread (the one & only shawarma that I eat from Fairview courtesy of ADS)
Banana Cake from some bakery (it's really yummy!)
BreadTalk! Pizza Bread
BreadTalk! Chocolate bread-something w/ Almonds toppings (I swear I would know its name sooner or maybe later...)
BreadTalk! Floss-Bread-Something (haven't eaten it yet really. just a bite, tasted like chicken)
Boy! These breads are expensive! (40, 10, 36, 36, 55)

Well, about the woman that we talked to...

the topic is that EDUCATION IS ONE WAY TO SECURE YOUR FUTURE FINANCIAL MATTERS because YOU COULD ALWAYS FIND A JOB when you get older.

If you plant the weath well today, someday you'll be able to bake the bread. It may be expensive, it may cost you something, but the harder you work on it, the yummiest it will be!

I can't afford to buy the yummiest cake at BreadTalk! But I am planning to buy a cake for my mom's birthday ... It cost 700...what!!!!

Ok..I'll try but no promises...

Hmm... this composition doesn't seem to focus on one topic...

I'm always feeling dizzy for the past few days and I don't know why...

I can't think straight now...so I better rest...

... maybe because I lacked sleep last night...

...got to rest ....

6002.80.70

Raindrops Falling on my Head

2006-07-12T16:51:00.000+08:00

And on my shirt, my jeans and shoes…. And the cruelest thing of all inside my socks!

Darnssss…as in with ssss… DARNSSSSSSSSS!!!

It has been raining cats and dogs for the past days; it has disrupted my busy work days.

Thank you Rain! I finally appreciated the value of REST.

Hahahah!!!!

I can’t go outside because of heavy rains, strong winds and fear of the cold sting of 6” rain drops darting on my skin.

My out-of-town trips are lessening because I don’t want to travel and bother myself bringing an umbrella . . . and yeah, less travel means less money output.

I was sick last Monday, giving me the opportunity to know the latest buzz on Philippine TV.

I also watched missed ‘pirated’ movies.

(oops… got to stop for a while… CEO on approach)

there..there…

what else… hmmm….

…now I couldn’t think of anything to write because of CEO…

…hmm… it’s just raining hard putside and I am so worried that

Raindrops will be falling on my head,

And on my shirt, my jeans and shoes…. And the cruelest thing of all inside my socks!

lalalala....

2006-06-28T07:51:00.000+08:00

Wow! When was the last time I posted here.

I've been busy lately.

Well... just saying hello to the blogging world out there!

Gotta dash!

Today, is Independence Day

2006-06-12T18:20:00.000+08:00

Kahapon,kailangan ko nanaman mag owrtime sideline work.
So wala pa akong pahinga…
dahil nun Sabado,
overtime naman ako sa company na pnagtatrabahuhan ko.

Pagkatapos ko mag tutor ng more than 1 hour,
Kumita ako ng Isang Libo.
(Ayuz! Sa pnagttrabahuhan ko,
dalawang araw bago ko mkamit ang ganitong halaga).

Pagkatapos ng tutorial,
Nilibre ako ng lunch ng student ko
At pati ng panonood ng sine,
X-Men ang pnanood namin.

Businessman ang studyante ko
10 taon ang tanda sa akin.
Kaya, kpapasok pa lng namin ng sine,
Kinailangan nyang lumabas.

Iniwan nya ako mag-isa sa sine.
Ayuz na ayuz!
Awkward kasi kasama sya
Di naman kmi close.

Boss sya ng kaibigan ko.
Naisipan lng mgpaturo sa akin ng Photoshop
Dahil sa bagong business na sinisimulan nya
At kailangan nya tlga matuto.

Mag-isa akong nanonood ng sine
First time ito
At napansin ko
MASARAP pala!

Hindi ako mahilig manood ng sine
Kuripot kasi ako sa ganyang bagay
Pero dahil sa naranasan ko kahapon,
Tingin ko mahihiligan ko na manood.

Masaya akong umuwi,
Pero pagod na tlga ako.
Bumubigay na din ang katawan ko
Sa sobrang trabaho.

Kaya, naisipan ko magbakasyon
Ngayong Independence Day.
Para maiba naman ang dialogue ko.
“Hindi po ako nagttrabaho ngaun”

Iiwasan ko din sana
Ang pagharap sa computer
At pag internet.
Kaso,”adik” na e.

May extra money ako,
Kaya naisip ko, ibigay ang kalahati
Sa Nanay ko.
Para may ‘extra’ din sha.

Kaso, hindi ako
Yun tipo ng tao
Na ipapakita sa knino man
Na may kbaitan (really?) ako.

Kaya pag gising ko,
Sabi ko sa nanay ko
Bago sha unalis
Na ibili ako ng gamut.

Sabay abot ng 500
At sabi ng “Sayo na sukli”
Sabi ko apat na tablets ang Bilhin.
P50.00 isa ang gamut ko

Nagulat ako ng
Sabihin ng Nanay ko na,
“Yehey!”
Kung iisipin, 300 lang naman ang naabot ko.

Pero buti na lng,
Natuwa na sya sa 300
Balak ko kasi
Bawiin ang pinabibili ko.

Pagdating ng tanghali,
Nag text ako,
At sabi ko
Wag na bumili ng gamut.

Edi sa kanya na
Un buong 500.
Tpos tinanung ko anu uli pangalan ng gamut ko
Para isipin nyang ako na lng ang bibili.

Pero wala naman akong
Balak bumili ng gamut.
Nagddrama lng ako.
Ewan ko ba. Ayoko mag mukhang mabait sa bahay.

Okay…
Sa bahay lang ako.
Matagal na atang
Hndi ako napipirmi sa bahay.

Kasama un dalawa kong
Pasaway na mga kapatid.
Pero naisipan ko
Wag maging pasaway ngaun.

Sinagot ko ang pagkain
Para sa araw na ito
Nagsilbi din akong
Taga hugas ng plato at taga saing.

Ayuz na bakasyon
Minsan na nga lang
Dudung pa,
Este, Inday pa ang drama.

Nanood ako ng
Mga lumang
Walt Disney Animations
Paborito ko lahat

Mejo boring na ang mga luma
Pero may mga part two
Na ang mga classics
Na napanood ko na noon pa.

Gaya ng,
Beauty & the Beast 2
Cinderella 2
Little Mermaid 2

Sayang
Nawala na un koleksyon
Ng mga VCDs
Ng Alladin

Narelax naman ako
Sa pagpanood ng mga ito
Parang bumalik ako sa
Pagkabata.

Ahm.. tatapusin ko na
Ang pagkwento
Kasi
Masakit na ang ulo ko.

Nobody Cares pala
Hehehe
May magbabasa ba nito?
Cguro naman

Pero anu ba
Ang kabuluhan
Ng Post
Na ito?

Hindi ko alam
Pero sana
May natutunan kayo?
HAH?!?

Ayan mga bata,
Ganito ang
Educational na paraan
Para pumatay ng oras.

Nahihilo na tlga ako
Iniisip ko magaling na ako
Pero dko maintindihan
Bakit nahihilo ako

Siguro, epekto ito
Ng pagbabakasyon ko ngayon
Hindi sanay ang katawan ko
Na pagpahinga ng matagal.

Mejo
24 hours na rin ako nagpapahingga
Pero
Ayoko pumasok bukas

Siguro, Pakiramaadam ko
Independent na ako
Kaya ko na mabuhay mag isa
At kaya ko na rin bumuhay ng iba

HEHEHE!
Happy Independence Day!
Yun e kung
Totoong Malaya na tayo.

Salagadoola mechicka boola
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Put 'em together and what have you got

bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!

The Conspiracy of the 'so called Christians' - - - The Roman Catholicism of the Vatican

2006-06-09T17:53:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine, who is a Bible Student of a Baptist Church introduced me to this 'whole new perspective' regarding the hidden agenda behind the "Roman Catholics".

The mystery w/in the Vatican

and its

DARK HISTORY.

I am somehow afraid to post these links.

As to why am I afraid,
it is because of some personal reasons.

I am getting into deep waters

a topic that would make many "Catholics" fume with anger.

But you see, my faith is stronger than any fear my mind could create.

And I am so willing to share this to the world.

The first link is about

ALBERTO RIVERA's Life story

(an ex-Jesuit Priest)

(The Link is on the Side Bar)

Here's the first page of the story illustrated in Comics style.

The Second link is about

THE GODFATHERS

(The Link is on the Side Bar)

Here, the story illustrates the

MEN of Vatican

used to conquer the world

and destroy the

TRUE CHRISTIANS.

Here's the first page of the story illustrated in Comics style.

Now, I am to advise you that these stories are TRUE.

Whether you believe it or not, It's all upto you.

But I suggest, you make your own research to satisfy your mind & soul.

I know this topic is way far from my blogsite,

but

this is me

this is my faith.

I just want to share.

I wash Away....

2006-06-06T10:52:00.000+08:00

The quote above was written three years ago of this same date.

This is purely personal and solely devoted to my soulmate.

(So, don't you dare copy it)

Posted it here now, as a

MERMOIR OF A LOVING PERSON

Where is she?

How is she?

the days of happiness

the days of loneliness

I cannot recall

Now that they are through.

Hopefully,

she'll be awaken

sooner

in her

sleep.

(-_-)

JM's Three A's

2006-06-06T10:29:00.000+08:00

I had written this about five years ago.

Haha! I never thought I was this serious back then.

Well, there are some grammatical errors here... I don't mind.

The background images were my first digitally renditioned artworks.

Read it below...

JM -^_^-

JM's Three A's

I like angels. Why? I don't know why. Maybe because they can fly or maybe because they have glorious faces and voices. Or maybe...because they are close to God, but some "thing" is hindering me. I will never be that, If this "thing" keeps going on.Angels fly in the sky or in the whole universe, and what's more that I like is that they soar up in Heaven. They are so heavenly, that even I am only imagining them or just staring at their face in pictures, it makes me feel so light, so calm, tranquil and peaceful. I want to be an angel, too bad when I die, I can't be one.

If I'll be one, I'm a unique kind of angel - a chained one. An angel that can't soar up in the sky. An angel locked to stay in the ground. An angel who holds the key of her freedom but can't set herself free.

An agent, now that's something next to impossible. I always dreamt of being a Spy, a deep penetrating agent. A dream that if ever will come true will be the coolest adventure ever! Fighting, shooting, hunting the bad guys and even discovering new technolgies created by an enemy. Knowing the evil side of the human race - things that you'd never think man could do. Whether it be paranormal or not, I do not care. Dangerous as it is, I still wanted to be one. What's the use of having a peaceful and average life if it makes you miserable?

Sometimes I feel like a spy. I see things that are news breaking. Sometimes I just feel so lucky to have had experienced that and thank God I survived. And as I grow and journey the road of life, I discover things that are inspires me and hurt me as well. I see things and beginning to know the truth, because it always hurt. The truth can either make you stronger or weaker. Though we live in an unpredictable world and though I felt more pain rather than comfort, I never regret a day in my life. Good days give you happiness. Bad days give me experience.

An artist, if I can't be a secret agent or an angel, might as well be a painter, an animator, a designer or anything and everything related to visual arts, martial arts and any kind of arts. I will create my own world that will be enough for everyone to be content. I'm not saying that God created an imperfect world. God did create a perfect world, but man's greediness destroyed it. Sometimes, it makes me wonder why did God allow this to happen. He could have not put the Forbidden Tree inside the Garden of Eden. Well, whatever His reason, I know it's for the best, but it really bothers me.

And besides, being an artist have some great advantages, for example, if I will paint the sky red, it will look artistic, an impression of the sky, but if I'm not, and I would paint the sky red, then I would look stupid? Get it?

These are the 3 A's, Angel, Agent and Artist. I want to be that.Quite impossible,but who knows, maybe someday it may come true.

As the saying goes,
" It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. "

J Mansay ((somewhere/in/time))

Friendster Testimonial for HWA

2006-05-30T18:29:00.000+08:00

CLICK THE IMAGE TO ENLARGE

DeviantArt: brainfadeSPY

2006-05-11T08:11:00.000+08:00

This is my first set of uploaded images in Deviant Art.com. Most of these are painted about three years ago.

How about now? I haven't done any! haha! sad thing actually, I've been busy during my last two years in college and now my first year as a working creature.

Someday, somehow... I'll find a waty to fit painting in my busy schedule of "pagmumuni-muni".

Guys, visit my site and tell me what you think about my art works. I'm not sure if you have to be a Deviant Art member, but it's worth a while anyway.

I'll be uploading more sometime...

http://brainfadespy.deviantart.com/gallery/

that's the site... See yah!

Ang TagBoard Ko

2006-05-10T17:04:00.000+08:00

Eto ang unang hakbang ko para sa isang 'artistic' at 'otistik' na blog site...isang TagBoard..kung un nga ang tawag dito.

kasi.. na iinggit ako sa ibang sites...
PERSONALIZED.

Kahit anung runong ko sa Photoshop, Auto CAD, 3d Max, Studio Viz, Sketch Up at kung anu anu pa... sya namang 'mangmang' ko sa HTMLs.

Makakaisip ako ng magandang layouts at images, pero dko naman ma a-upload.

Natutunan ko naman ang CSS ng Friendster, dahil may 'Profile Editor' iyon.

SANA MATUTO AKO NG HTML!!!

Ang sakit ng kamay ko!

2006-05-10T08:12:00.000+08:00

Ang sakit ng kamay ko!

Yan ang laging maririnig mula sa aking labi.

Paano ba naman, magsisimula ang araw ko sa pagpindot ng 'alarm cell' ko, at ciempre mababasa ang mga nakatulugang text messages at agad itong re-replyan. Pagkatapos ay ang isang oras na pag-aasikaso sa sarili bago pumasok sa opisina, maliligo, magsusuklay, at magtu-toothbrust, minsan naaalala din mag almusal.

Bbyahe na ng 7:00 am, sasakay ng jeep, tapos MRT na hanggang dulong station ang byahe na nakatayo at nakahawak sa 'safety handrails'. Edi, ngalay na ang braso at kamay mo sa paghawak dito. (minsan kc may 'kaskaserong' operator ng MRT train).

Tapos, sa opisina, buong sampung oras na nakaharap sa computer gamit ang mouse at keyboard. Design softwares ang gamit, kaya nka concentrate ang powers ng utak sa kanang kamay na nagsasagawa ng naisip na design concept.

Dagdag pa ang pagod ng mata.

Pagkalipas ng 10 oras, uuwi na. Gaya kaninang umaga, ganun din ang byahe, at ngalay nanaman ang kamay sa paghawak sa 'safety handrails'. (paborito ko ito banggitin, ang 'safety handrails')

Pagdating sa bahay, kakain at magpapahingga sandali.

Dito na magsisimula ang trabaho ng aking kamay.

Pag gumana na ang pagiging senti-writer ko.

Isinusulat ko kasi lahat ng ideas ko sa isang journal. Kadalasan, hindi ko natatapos ito sa isang gabi dahil sa inaantok na tlga ako at isang pahina pa lang e masakit na ang kamay ko.

Bakit hindi na lng ako mag-type sa PC? kc po kasalukuyang sira ang PC ko, at ayokong may mga tao sa paligid ko habang inilalabas ko ang mga kuru-kuru ko sa buhay.

At ang major na dahilan tlga ay dahil mas masarap ito isulat, mas nadadama ang bawat damdamin, malambot ang papel, pedeng madiin ang sulat kapag galit at nanggigigil ka. Pwedeng super ayos ang pagkakasulat , pwede rin parang kinahig ng manok. At kapag tinitignan ko ang mga nakaraang isinulat ko, alam ko na agad kung anu ang naging 'bad mood' ko o hindi, dahil sa penmanship pa lng kita na. Personal ang bawat pahina, bawat salita at mga letra.

Hindi katulad ng PC, kahit anung i-type mo, wala pa rin itong emosyon, liban na lamang kung gnamitan ng ibang font at kulay. May pinipili pa itong lugar..kc madalas at dapat may kuryente ka!

Ang 'nokbik' kahit saan ka mapunta, PWEDE!

Mas gusto ko ang 'manually written' kasi makikita mo ang emosyon ng sulat.

Mahilig ako sa snail mails

at

e-mails

at

blogs.

Marami na akong naisulat, na hindi ko pa napo-post d2 sa blog. Kasi ba naman, pag sinusubukan ko na i-type ito, nwawalan na ako ng gana... nawala na kc un 'emotion of the moment' or 'passion of the moment' habang inilalabas ko ang aking mga idea at saloobin.

minsan, isang araw cguro...

Pero hindi ko ipagpapalit ang mga dulot, ng pagsusulat ng 'manual'

kahit na madalas na sumasakit at na aabuso ang kamay ko.. iba pa rin ang pakiramdam.

dahil dito

...maari mong ibuhos lahat ng saloobin at damdamin mo sa pamamagitan ng panulat at papel.

Letter to the 'Church'

2006-04-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

(click the image to get a better view. or "save as" & view it in your 'image viewer')

Last night, as I wrote my day's story in my journal (yez! 'the journal' manually written with all my emotions in it)

...yeah, I was writing in my journal, and for years I wanted to do something good for the Church.

the Church - when I say 'the Church' I mean for the Lord...

historical background: I grew up in a Christian school, Christian Church (Baptist, to be exact)and everything about it. But a singular event changed my whole life and now I am a wandering soul.

Now, the thing is... how do I go back to the Church w/o being in a church? got what I mean?

well, anyway, last night I wrote a letter...

that's the letter ... digitally enhanced... the name is not my real name, but the email add..yes it's so real.

I really miss God.. oh! why did I flee from Him...

The letter is real and is addressed to the Church...

..now... I wonder who will God use to fulfill my prayer...

With my hand in my heart,

AngelSPY signing off...

IDOLO

2006-04-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Ang nilalaman ng pahayag na ito ay sentibo. Sinasaad dito ang aking saloobin. Patawad pos a mga masasagasaan.

Nung Sabado, habang naghihintay ako kay Dei sa St. Joseph, Anonas, napatingin ako sa “gift shop” ng malapit na simbahan.
I sa itong maliit na tindahan ng mga Catholic items gaya ng rosaryo, prayer booklets, t-shirts, post cards, latest imahen ng bagong pope at mga pigurin ng santo. Naisip ko lang, para saan ang mga pigurin ng santo? At lalung lalu na ang pigurin ng pope?
Hindi ba’t parang nasasamba na nila sina Mary at Joseph? Ang malala pa nito, e parang sinasamba na nila ang mga bagay na mismong tao din naman ang may gawa.

Magulo ba? Ako rin mejo naguguluhan.

Ganito yun…ahm…

Ang rebulto ni Jesus Christ, sa cross, nag dadasal etc., bakit pa nila kailangan nito kung alam naman nila sa puso nila na nasa loob nila si Jesus Chirsit?

Isang paalala kung makalimot sila? Labo mhan!

Di ba? kapag totoong nananahan sayo si Jesus Christ e mararamdaman mo sya hanggang sa kaibuturan ng puso mo? Hindi mo na kailangan ng cross para maalala at maramdaman ang presence Nya dahil nananahan na Sya sayo. Wag mong sabihin na tao ka lamang, dahil pag nanahan ang Diyos sa tao, kakaibang high ang mararamdaman. OO, may downpoints tayo, pero andun pa rin Sya at nararamdaman mo.

Isang pahiwatig ng mga tao na deboto sila kay Jesus Christ?

I don’t think so. Dahil hindi mo kailangan ng kahit anong bagay para ipakita sa tao na nasa loob mo ang Diyos. Sarili mo lang ay sapat na katibayan upang ipadama sa lahat ng tao ang kaligayahan mo sa piling ng Diyos. Hindi mo na kailangan ng rebulto o rasaryo na bitbit mo araw araw na parang may aswang ka na tutunawin sa daan.

Speaking of rosaryo, noong 3rd year high school ako, nag-aral ako sa isang public highschool. Isa sa mga subjects ang Religion, at dahil Katoliko ang main religion ng bansa, tungkol sa gawi at tradisyon ng mga Katoliko ang naturang subject.

Pumasok ang teacher namin at nagdrawing sa blackboard ng isang malaking rosaryo sabay tanung sa klase ng “Alam nyo ba kung paano gamitin ang rosaryo?”

Ayuz, bagong knowledge, may silbi pala ang rosaryo, kala ko kasi dati isa itong old-fashioned na kwintas na simbolo ng mga Katoliko.

Nakinig akong mabuti upang maintindihan ko ang mga Katoliko.

May ilang bahagi ang rosaryo, at bawat bahagi ay may dasal na dapat kabisaduhun. Take note: Kabisaduhin.

“KABISADUHIN?!?” Natawa na lamang ako sa lob loob ko. Ibig sabihin sa dinami dami ng katoliko sa bansa, iisang klase lang ng panalangin ang binabanngit nila ng madalas.

Siempre,alam ko may personal na panalangin sila. Pero ang ‘kabisaduhin’ ang isang panalangin ay ibang usapan na. Inisip ko nun, isa ba itong panata o ritwal ng mga katoliko? Nagmukha tuloy silang kulto sa paningin ko.

Hindi ba dapat ‘personal’ ang mga dasal? Dahil isa itong sagradong relationship sa Diyos. Diba kaya tayo nilagay sa lupa upang may makasama at makausap ang Diyos? Para naman tayong sirang plaka na paulit ulit kung ganun ang pagdarasal natin…at baka sinasabayan pa tayo ng Diyos..or

“ay nko anak, yan nanaman ba sasabihin mo?”

Hindi naman computer ang Diyos na pag nakibasado mo ang ‘prayer of the rosary’ ay may password ka na papasok ng langit.

LANGIT: Tinee-neeng (sound fx yan bgo mg announce sa malls)
WELCOME to Heaven. Please recite the prayer of the rosary to log in.
Thank you. Tinoo-noong (sound fx yan pgktapos mg announce sa malls)

SPY : Prayer of the Rosary??? Ahm…anu un..?

LANGIT: Access Denied

SPY : Teka, close kami ni God. Lagi ko nga sha kausap sa prayers ko e.
Kinuwento ko pa sa kanya un mga bagay bagay ditto sa mundo. Nag
tenk yu pa nga ako e

LANGIT: Tinee-neeng (sound fx yan bgo mg announce sa malls)
WELCOME to Heaven. Please recite the prayer of the rosary to log in.
Thank you. Tinoo-noong (sound fx yan pgktapos mg announce sa malls)

SPY : . . . . . ??? huh?

LANGIT: Access Denied

SPY : Teka….kailangan ba talaga nun?

LANGIT: Tinee-neeng (sound fx yan bgo mg announce sa malls)
WELCOME to Heaven. Please recite the prayer of the rosary to log in.
Thank you. Tinoo-noong (sound fx yan pgktapos mg announce sa malls)
SPY : Aba, Ginoong Maria?..Ginang ata un…

LANGIT: Access Denied

LANGIT: Tinee-neeng (sound fx yan bgo mg announce sa malls)
Sorry. You have reached the maximum number of trials of reciting the prayer of the rosary . Please stay in the purgatory for 1 million years and memorize the prayer to avoid line disconnection. Thank you. Tinoo-noong (sound fx yan pgktapos mg announce sa malls)

SPY : Waaahhh………….

Sabay bukas ng secret trap door sa kinakatayuan mo at ihuhulog ka na sa purgatoryo.

Purgatoryo..isa pa yan! Sapat na ang ilang dekada kong pamamalagi sa mundo para maghintay pa uli sa purgatoryo at makarating s Langit. Sabi nga ng Diyos, alam Nya kahahantungan natin bago pa tayo isilang sa mundo.

Hundi naman mainit ang ulo ko sa mga Katoliko. Siguro hindi ko lang matanggapa ang tradisyon at mga ritwal nila sa pagkakaroon ng rosaryo at ang tamang pagdadasal nito. Lalung lalung lalu na ang rebulto na halos sambahin na ng karamihan. Pwede namang pumukit na lamang at kausapin ang Diyos ng buong puso. Paano kung wala na ang rebulto, o rosaryo? Ano? Hndi mo na makakusap ang Diyos at wala ka ng password papasok ng Langit?

Habang tintitigan ko ang mga rebulto nila Mary, Joseph, Mother Theresa, Pope Benedict at kung sino sino pa, naisip ko lang, paano kung may sikat na artista ang nadeklarang Santo pagkatapos ng maraming taon?

Mas bebenta ba ang mga imahen, post cards at tshirts nila?

May kasama kaya itong autographed lifesize pictures nila?

Curious lang, kung paano sila tatangkilikin ng mga tao.

Curious lang.

Para sa mga Deboto at sarado katoliko… pati sa lahat ng tinamaan at nasagasaan ko:
Para sa mga komento at violent reactions, maari lamang mag reply sa post na ito.
Gaya ng sinabi ko, sarili ko itong pananaw. Maari nyo ako itama, laitin at kung anu-anu pa. Pero sa ngaun, eto ang pananaw ko.

World Peace!!!

ANGELspy SIGNING OFF…

Nangangapang MangMang

2006-04-21T18:34:00.000+08:00

hahaha!!! Bago lang ako sa blogsites at ako'y nangangapa pa lamng sa mga kakaibang features nito..

Mahilig ako sumulat at dahil nag crash na ang files ko sa PC w/o back ups w/c is stupid of me, i have decided to be here . . . kaya..ahm...

konteng pasensya...

Makapal kapal na din ang journal at sketchpads ko ng ideas... komento at mga sarkastikong panlalait base sa aking mga obserbasyon...

abangan..

hahaha..

ahm..panu ba isave to? hahah

saglit lng ito, dahil pauwi na ako. And2 kc ako sa office nagmumuni muni at pakalat kalat sa internet kapag walang magawa at tamad gumawa... nyahaha!

stOp-d-BloG

2006-04-18T18:51:00.001+08:00

This is my serious blog site...
well, I am planning to write several stories about myself, the things around me and the things 'before' me.

I use to have journals, wrote fiction stories and deep poetries..that when people read it... they say it's good...and blah..blah..blah... too bad, i don't have a hard copy...when my PC crashed, the memories also slipped away... huh?...

so now, i'm gonna write it on blog sites.......

I was full of confidence that I have the potentials of being a cool writer...but uh-oh! what are these??? People who writes very much better than I am.......

All my hopes..got so low..I'll never be able to write a good one... with these competitions?

Then suddenly...Ting!!!

I don't want to write because I want to have a published book...

I write because I want to, I am capable of doing it and no one can stop me......

as I always say, when people say that I get a small amount of salary as a designer and artist,

"MY JOB IS ALREADY REWARD ITSELF"

...so here I am... I'm not good in English grammar (I use to)...because ...ahm..I forgot many details in my life... because of an accident ....

I am going to write!!! Any topic that storms my mind...

My brain cells fail me to remember things, jotting it down is truly a great help for the meantime...

...and besides, I had a dream of becoming a writer. ..Have a book published... for whatever topic it may be.....

STOP-d-BLOG!!!

... i'm gonna prevent myself from reading other people's blog...

.... for the true purpose... is to remember who iwas, who i am, and who i wanted to be ..

.... haauummmmmmmm...i'm meditating... haaauuuummmmmmmmmm..

.and ahmm...

what am i doing here?

who am i?...

kidding!

tut! tut!

brain fade.SPY, where did thy memories go?

...now signing off....

Ang Sarap (pala) Mag-Bus sa Umaga

2006-04-17T15:54:00.000+08:00

. . . dahil ito sa tinanghali ako ng gising.

Noong younger pa ako, (dahil young pa ako ngaun) my phobia ako sa pag sakay sa bus. Hindi ko sigurado kung bakit. Sanay ako na may sasakyan dati, may school service. Sumasakay naman ako ng public vehicles, gaya ng jeep, fx, tricycle at pedicab. Pero bus talaga ang di ko kaya masakyan (liban na lng kung may school field trips).

During High School naman, cguro mabibilang lang sa daliri ang pagsakay ko ng bus. Sumasakay lang ako ng bus kapag kasabay ko ang Lola ko na pumapasok bilang isang Elementary teacher sa Cubao.

Lalo ko tuloy naisip na ayoko sumakay ng bus, dahil nahihirapan umakyat ang Lola ko.

Sino ba naman gusto sumakay ng ordinary bus na parang bibigay na pag sinipa mo? At kapag nagkamali ka, at nasugatan baka dka na umabot sa ospital dahil sa tapang na mga tetano sa paligid. At habang nasa byahe ka e tumatalbog ka sa knauupuan mo na kahoy.

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Or aircon na bus naman, na pagpasok mo amoy air freshener na ‘pine’ or ‘orange’ na masusugatan ang loob ng ilong mo sa tapang. Babarahan pa ng ‘molecules’ na mga nasabing ‘air fresheners’ ang maliit na daluyan ng hangin sa ilong mo . Mas gugustuhin mo pa langhapin ang polluted na hangin sa kalsada. At kapag minala-malas ka pa, ang nasabing ‘aircon bus’ ay kasing init sa sauna {with matching ‘fresh air pa’}

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Noong college na ako, takot pa din ako sa bus. Pero tinanggap ko na din ang katotohonan na kailangan ko sumakay ng bus paminsan-minsan dahil mahirap sumakay at hindi pa uso ang Megatrain noong unang tatlong taon ko sa college [aba! One year na lang, grad nko bgo ngkaroon ng LRT Train na sakto ang baba sa school … ok lang..at least na-experience.. wala lng =) ]

May isang experience ako na di ko malilimutan sa pagsakay ng bus nun 1st year college ako. Maaga ako pumasok ng panahong iyon {kahit naman ngaun}. Naaalala ko, paborito ko ang araw ng Tuesday dahil favorite subject ko nun, [Visual Presentation Technique 1, kung saan nag-still life drawing kami sa klase. Gusto ko din ang ‘green’ professor namin dun na itatago ko na lang sa pangalang “Sir Jologs”]

Dahil ayoko ma-late at nahirapan ako sumakay ng jeep, sumakay na lang ako ng bus {thinking, ‘kaya ko to’}. Sa dulo ako pumwesto, at (ISHINA!) nasa pnaka dulo ako at gitna, (ishina tlga) may dalawang lalaki, one on each side, na mukhang tumakas lng sa manila city jail at ilang taon nang naghuhukay ng butas sa ilalaim ng lupa! My gulay! Minsan lang sasakay ng bus monsters pa ang seatmates ko!

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Eniwei…. Hindi pa un ang climax ng story…

Ala pa ako 15 minutes sa bus, eh parang 15 days na ako nka upo dun.

Maya-maya, traffic na sa harap ng Roosevelt College sa may Malanday, since hindi ko gusto ang view both sides,nka 40-degrees lang ang leeg ko at straight ang tingin sa labas (takot na maka-eye contact ang mga katabi ko at baka lamunin ako ng buhay).

Nakatingin ako sa isang tricycle driver na payapang naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko, nang biglang …

{timeout muna, mag sounds muna ako, inaantok ako bigla… bored na din ako sa knikuwento ko}

{ayan..soundtrack ng “Shall We Dance”}

game ulit… nang biglang…

{time out ulit, nu ba to?! “The bridges of Paris” Nkkaantok lalo un sound.. NEXT!}

saan naba tayo?

{ayun nga} Nakatingin ako sa isang tricycle driver na payapang naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko, nang biglang …

!!! BANG !!!

{opo. Tunog po yan ng baril. Yan na ang pinaka hi-tech na sound fx na mabibigay ko. Gaya ng ‘ratatatatat’ ng machine gun , ‘bagoom’ ng bazooka or “pow” ng pagsuntok}

{wow.. ‘Moon River’ ang tugtog}

un nga…

!!! BANG !!!

Sabay bagsak sa kalsada ng payapang tricycle driver na naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko. Oh no! DEDO na sha!

{anu nangyari?}

Hindi ko sure nung una, pero nakita ko un payapang tricycle driver na naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko na binaril ng isang lalaking naka bullcap. As in, ang tindig nun lalaking naka bullcap e parang sanay na pumatay, nakatayo ng may kompyansa sarili, tinaas ang kanang kamay na may baril, at pinapaputukan na ang payapang tricycle driver na naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko. Parang hired assassin ang drama. Nasa open area lang un lalaking naka bullcap, walang pakielam kung may makakita sa kanya. Ang totoo, hindi ko ma-describe sa salita ng exacto ang mga pangyayari, dahil hindi naman ako writer. {ano! Drawing ko na lng?!}

{Later, that night…}

Lumabas na lamang sa balita ang nasaksihan ko nung umaga. Ang payapang tricycle driver na naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko ay isa pa lang ex-convict na ciempre, kalalaya lang. Ang lalaking naka bullcap naman ay …ahm…di ko na maalala, pero parang hired assassin nga sha.

Moral Lesson: Huwag titingin sa labas na nka 40-degrees ang leeg, kahit na may katabi ka na (ishina!) ang mga face(isa itong bad combination ng elements) . Iwasan ding tumitig sa payapang tricycle driver na naghihintay ng turn nya sa pagliko upang maganda ang pasok ng pera.

Wala lang =)

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Perong ngaung working girl na ako, iba na ang usapan. Kasama sa trabaho ko ang pagbyahe. Pumupunta kasi ako ng Cavite at least once a week upang ipa-construct ang designs ko… {aztig ba}

Last year bus lang ang alam ko na pede sakyan, kaya no choice ako kung hndi mag bus. Nagsisimula ang trip ko sa cavite ng tanghali, dahil usually sa head office muna ako ng umaga.

Ang kadalasan ko masakyan na bus ay “Jasper Jean”. Isa itong ‘aircon bus’ na may advertisement ng kornik sa balat mismo ng bus. Ayoko sana sumakay sa ‘aircon bus’ na ito dahil parang hindi naman ito aircon. Grabe! Walang lamig, hangin lang ang meron at ang ‘air freshener’ alikabok at usok ang flavor. Bukod pa dito, ang upuan ay sasakto lang sa tuhod mo pag nakaupo, kaya sa dalawang oras na byahe, malamang, bugbog na ang mga tuhod ko. Para ka naring naglakad ng paluhod.
)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

May ‘masaya’ din na part sa bus papuntang Cavite. Yun ay ang free taste ng mga vendor ng macapuno. Pero never ko ito tna-try at hinding hindi ko gagawin un. Takot ko lang na baka two-weeks expired na ang pnapatikim nila.

{Ang ‘free taste’… but wait! There’s more! Taste it now and you’ll get free bacterias from people who doesn’t wash. There’s still more. Lot’s more. Buy now, and you’ll also get free cholera, and a life time supply of Hepa B. wala lang =) Ang sama ko ba?}

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Kapag pabalik nako ng Manila,ang madalas ko sakyan ay “San Agustin”. Sorry na lang ako kung “Jasper Jean” na lang ang available. Wala naman ako mashado masasabi sa “San Agustin”, un nga lang sobrang lamig sa loob. Kaya sasakit ang ulo mo. Panu ba naman, maiinit sa labas, tapos pagpasok mo super lamig, tpos pagbaba mo, mainit nanaman. Sakit tlga sa ulo nun. Eto pa, may TV nga sa loob, kaso putol putol naman. Un lang po…

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Buti na lang alam ko na ang FX papuntang Cavite ngaun. Iwas init, iwas ‘flavored’ air conditioner.

Bukod sa pagpunta ko sa Cavite, kpag tinanghali ako ng gising, ayoko na sumakay pa ng MRT, dahil mapipisa lang ako dun. Bus lang ang pede ko sakyan.

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

Gaya ngaung umaga, late na ako nagising dahil sa nakuha ko pa maggala kagabi.

{special Hi to Dadang, Erick, Kakel at Dei… cla ang kasama ko mag hang-out sa Robinson’s Galleria kagabi – naglakad, napagod, nag bonding, namangha sa ganda ni Roxanne Barcelo (?), nagutom... Napagtripan naming bumili ng tortillos, tasty bread, at isang malaking chicharon na nakita ko sa buong buhay ko na dko maalala ang tatak (as in jumbo). Bumili din kami ng sandwhich spread at jelly stix. Lahat ng ito ay kinain namin sa food court na parang nasa loob lang kmi na bahay at walang mga tao sa paligid. Umasa na lamang kmi sa tubig ng food court bilang panulak.
Oo nga pala, accidentally, nakita din naming si Grace at Che an. Instant mini-reunion.}

{Para sa mga hindi nakadalo: Ganyan lang tlga. Next tym pa reserve kayo sa Ticketnet. For more info please press 1. For non-subscribers please enter ur 10 digit number and press *#!@?! Sabay talon ng 3x para tumangkad}

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{again, wala lang. =) }

Un nga, tinanghali ako ng gising knina, kaya hindi ko na binalak pa na mag MRT. Kaya ng bus na lang ako. Dumaan muna ako ng seben-eleben para bumili ng maiinom. Matagal na din ako hindi nagba-bus sa umaga, ng papasok sa opisina.

Ayuz! Matatawag namang ‘aircon bus’ ang nasakyan ko. Magaan ang pakiramdam ko kahit na alam ko na maari akong malate sa opisina.

Nakadungaw ako sa bintana, iniwasan ko na ang 40-degrees na tingin upang maganda ang pasok ng pera. Payapa naman ang byahe, hindi bumpy. Inaantok pa ako, pero ayoko matulog dahil sira sa japorms ko na office girl look. Ka tx ko si Dei, kc pareho kaming unlimited. Kung anu anu lang…

Gaya ng sabi ko, payapa ang byahe… ang dami kong nakitang mga kotse, na pangarap ko tlga magkaroon… bigla ko naisip na dapat na ako kumilos at ayusin ang aking buhay…

Gaya ng bus na sinasakyan ko, tuloy tuloy lang ang byahe hanggang sa dumating sa destinasyon.

Huminto kapag kinakailangan, kapag may pasahero- kapag may oportunidad.

Magbayad agad at itago ang tiket - - - dahil may silbi ito sa hinaharap. Gaya ng pagdating ng ticket inspector ng mga bus, kung saan hobby na nila ang magpunit ng tiket.

Umusog nag konti upang makaupo ang bagong sakay, hindi lang tayo ang tao sa mundo ng bus. Pero ingat lang ng pagpili na tatabi sa inyo, ang iba ay nanlalaslas ng bag o d nman kaya, maniac.

At kapag malapit ka na bumaba, check lahat ng gamit baka may naiwan, sayang un. Tumayo ka na din para madali makalabas ng bus, mahirap nga maglakad papuntang exit habang umaandar ang bus, pero ganyan talaga. Hindi lang oras mo ang mahalaga.

{anu ba to? Parang walang sense ang pnagsasabi ko?}

hmm..

Basta, ngaun ko lang naisip na masarap pala sumakay ng bus sa umaga…

Ngaun ko lang na-appreciate…

At tsaka, salamat sa pagsakay ko sa bus ngang araw at nkapag isip-isip ako. Hindi ko ito magagawa sa MRT dahil siksikan dun at mabilis ang takbo.

Sa bus, mabagal pero komportable, may panahon pa para magmunimuni, magi sip at matulog.. pede din kumain, wag ka lang mgkakalat upang maganda ang pasok ng pera…

Ang totoo nyan, wala ako magawa ngaun dito sa office, kaya naisip ko na lang magsulat tungkol sa bus.

Ang phobia ko sa bus, nawala na…. pero lalaitin ko pa rin ang mga bus hanggat gusto ko…nyahahah!

)))masarap ba mag bus?(((

“O, un wala pang tiket jan, magbayad na!”

korni

jm/032306

J - - - - - - - M - - - - -
(feeling writer minsan)

(Bawal kopya...haahahaa!!!)

AngelSpy signing off....